I subscribe to Jack Canfield’s newsletter and I loved this article. I’ve heard this before during my years in direct sales and it’s so true, but I hope that you’ll realize this works for everything in life. I’m particularly focusing on this as I strive to succeed in getting my books published. I’ve learned not to be afraid of the word, No. Hope you enjoy this:
Asking for what you need is probably the most underutilized tool for people. And yet, amazing requests have been granted to people simply because they’ve asked for it!
Whether its money, information, support, assistance, or time, most people are afraid to ask for what they need in order to make their dreams come true.
They might be afraid of looking needy, ignorant, helpless, or even greedy. More than likely though, it is the fear of rejection that is holding them back. Even though they are afraid to hear the word no, they’re already saying it to themselves by not asking!
Do you ask for what you want or are you afraid of rejection?
Consider this: Rejection is just a concept. There is really no such thing as rejection! You’re not any worse off by hearing no than you were before you asked. You didn’t have what you asked for before you asked and you still don’t, so what did you lose?
Being rejected doesn’t hold you back from anything. Only YOU hold yourself back. When you realize that there’s no merit to rejection, you’ll feel more comfortable asking for things. You may just need a bit of help learning how to ask for what you want.
How to Ask for What You Want
There’s a specific science to asking for and getting what you want or need in life. And while I recommend you learn more by studying The Aladdin Factor, here are some quick tips to get you started:
1. Ask as if you expect to get it. Ask with a positive expectation. Ask from the place that you have already been given it. It is a done deal. Ask as if you expect to get a “yes.”
2. Assume you can. Don’t start with the assumption that you can’t get it. If you are going to assume, assume you can get an upgrade. Assume you can get a table by the window. Assume that you can return it without a sales slip. Assume that you can get a scholarship, that you can get a raise, that you can get tickets at this late date. Don’t ever assume against yourself.
3. Ask someone who can give it to you. Qualify the person. Who would I have to speak to to get…Who is authorized to make a decision about…What would have to happen for me to get…
4. Be clear and specific. In my seminars, I often ask, “Who wants more money in their life?” I’ll pick someone who raised their hand and give them a quarter, asking, “Is that enough for you?” “No? Well, how would I know how much you want. How would anybody know?”
You need to ask for a specific number. Too many people are walking around wanting more of something, but not being specific enough to obtain it.
5. Ask repeatedly. One of the most important Success Principles is the commitment to not give up.
Whenever we’re asking others to participate in the fulfillment of our goals, some people are going to say “no.” They may have other priorities, commitments and reasons not to participate. It’s no reflection on you.
Just get used to the idea that there’s going to be a lot of rejection along the way to the brass ring. The key is to not give up. When someone says “No”– you say “NEXT!” Why?
Because when you keep on asking, even the same person again and again…they might say “yes”…
…on a different day
…when they are in a better mood
…when you have new data to present
…after you’ve proven your commitment to them
…when circumstances have changed
…when you’ve learned how to close better
…when you’ve established better rapport
…when they trust you more
…when you have paid your dues
…when the economy is better
…and so on.
Kids know this Success Principle better than anyone. They will ask the same person over and over again without any hesitation (can you relate!).
Getting a good perspective on rejection and learning how to ask will make a world of difference for you as you work toward your goals. Practice asking and you’ll get very good at it! You’ll even speed your progress by getting what you need, or improving yourself in order to get it later.
Make a list of what you need to ask for in all areas of your life, and start asking.
Remember, ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE… if you dare to ask!
© 2009 Jack Canfield
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