parenting - Rachelle J. Christensen

For Writers

Get back to basics at back-to-school time by Connie Sokol

Back to school–it’s that magical time of year (for children or for parents?) When you make a few quick changes to routine, purpose and appreciation, the summer-to-fall transition can be smoother and happier.

De-stress one system

Rather than overhaul your home before school starts (was that even a goal?) organize fall one system at a time. Consider the one that bothers you most such as kids’ lunches, entry way coming and going, school papers, and tackle that one first. For example, school papers can be contained in folders, magazine holders, trays, clipboards, etc.

Nowadays, these types of stationery can be purchased quickly and easily from an online office supplier, so you can get everything you need to get your home in shape delivered directly to your door. You might even want to order a few extra things for your home office.

Use the system that works best for you. I’ve used all of them and found a fit combining three: kids put to-do homework in a folder, graded homework in a tray and long-term project information in their clipboard. This may seem complex, but for whatever reason it works!

You might also want to consider redecorating your child’s bedroom. Children grow up incredibly quickly, and so giving them some freedom when it comes to decorating their bedroom can encourage them to play a more active role in keeping things tidy. It can be a pretty big job, but there is almost always a target coupon or code floating around to help with costs a little. You can shop online together at a store that has everything, like Target, and pick storage solutions, whiteboards, even a desk for some serious studying.

Why not order some fun wall decals? Wall stickers are fantastic for decorating and come in quirky animal prints and even number and letter designs. Moreover, if your child is learning about these things at school, seeing them on their bedroom walls can make the learning process more enjoyable.

Find your focus

If you have children heading back to school, they’re going to experience mental and emotional growth (we hope). Happily, you get to, too. Consider what helps you experience “joyful contribution,” meaning, something small or big that helps you feel creative, fulfilled or joyful.

For example, on a small level of this a few years ago, my daughters and I loved to make flower cookies: chocolate chip cookie dough pressed in a flower mold, then baked with a lollipop stick and tied with a bow. We would take these to friends and neighbors, and it absolutely brought us joy (and licking the bowl was joyful too …).

As you decide on something joyful, perhaps a medium-level adventure would include going back to school too, like a friend of mine. She is a mom doing an online program so that with little children at home, it’s more doable for her schedule. In this way, she can continue progressing toward her ultimate educational goal of receiving a college degree.

If it resonates, something on a larger scale might be a purposeful project. A few years ago, a friend of mine noticed that in the neighborhood the kids played on a solitary large rock. While fine, she wanted them to have something more interesting and that allowed more children to gather and play. She partnered with another friend, involved the community, garnered donations, and after several months had created a beautiful and functional play area. Later she shared that on a city celebration day, she looked over at the children all playing happily on the play area and felt a surge of joy.

Notch up marital appreciation

In his excellent book “The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work,” Dr. John Gottman shares a simple but powerful appreciation exercise. Using a list of character traits (he has a list of about 70, but you can create your own) have each spouse choose three positive traits of the other spouse. Jot down experiences where those traits were observed. Each spouse then takes a turn sharing a trait of the other spouse and sharing the related experience. This takes perhaps five to 10 minutes tops, but it’s the gift that keeps on giving.

If you like, expand that exercise to your family. We did this a few nights ago, with each child drawing a sibling’s name and then sharing three great qualities about that sibling, and one related experience. Despite the teenage boys’ obvious I’d-rather-get-my-wisdom-teeth-pulled response, they actually shared positive comments to the other person’s just as obvious delight.

Enjoy this back-to-school time by “attending” to three different but joy-giving areas.

(You can see the original article HERE)

Visit Rachelle’s For Writers Page to find more resources HERE

Follow Rachelle:

Book Thoughts by Rachelle

As a mother of five kids, this book, Keep it Real and Grab a Plunger, definitely looked enticing and I’m so glad that I got the chance to read it.

I liked the format of this book because it was easy to read in chunks here and there in between diaper changes, feedings, piano lessons, homework, etc., etc. Each chapter was short but chock full of great information, anecdotes, and scenarios that help teach the principles that Julie has collected. These 25 Tips are definitely on the top of my list of areas where I could use some extra help. I found myself marking and highlighting several tips and passages as I went along.

One of my children is four, but it still feels like we are in the terrible twos. He’s extremely difficult and headstrong, goes 100 miles an hour all day long and has complete freak-outs about the littlest things. My husband and I have pulled our hair out trying to figure out how to work with this child. Many days I have been in tears over the latest trouble he has gotten into and how to keep my cool and still show love to him. There just aren’t words, so in short, I’ll tell you that this book is so refreshing because I can tell that Julie really does understand the dynamics of parenting. She shares these tips in a way that doesn’t make me feel guilty because I haven’t always got it right, instead I feel hopeful and excited to try out the ideas. I’m already implementing them and in some cases, just a different way of looking at the situation has helped me immensely.

Here’s one thought that helped remind me of where we’re at with this kid:

“Prekindergarten children have difficulty understanding and putting labels on feelings and, therefore, can feel out of control. They don’t know what they are feeling or how to deal with problems. Parents increase a child’s self-awareness by allowing the child to express emotion in a safe situation, labeling the emotion, and letting the child know that you will be ready to talk when he or she calms down. I like to say, “When your voice is calm like mine, we can talk.”

This would be an excellent Mother’s Day gift, or for any day kind of gift as a parenting pick-me-up. The other day I was on the phone changing my baby’s messy diaper with a kid in the background yelling, “Mom, come wipe me!” If you’ve ever been in a similar situation, this book is for you. 🙂

Here’s more about the book:

As a popular blogger, a college professor, and a frequent parenting guest expert on TV, you might suspect Julie K. Nelson is immune to the realities of actual parenting. But in fact, she’s been there—through all the late nights, huge messes, and tough moments.

Now she combines her expertise with her experience as a mom of five in this entertaining and pragmatic book. Learn how to overcome your natural manipulative, authoritarian tendencies and foster your child’s self-discipline, respect, and emotional maturity.

Humorous, insightful, and authentic, this book will get you through the sticky stuff with grace so you can enjoy those parenting moments that make it all worth it.

And check out this great book trailer!